But this isn't about putting him down or making it about him. This blog is about me, and what I feel. So right now, I feel worthless, disrespected, alone and hurt. I called my best friend, my mom and cried to her about it. As it seems she agrees that "he works so much, or he's sick" so he should get out of chores. Well I'm sick of picking up after him.
I tried to talk to him about relatives coming to visit us, and that we needed to work on our marriage to get stronger. He flipped saying he's a family man. Apparently his wife isn't his family, because that's just about how he made it seem.
He doesn't think we should be saving money, he doesn't think its fair that I have another account and he doesn't think its fair he doesn't do anything. Well here's my opinion. Screw that shit! I will put money into savings, I will continue to have another account because he has acted stupidly with finances and I'm not going to get taken down with him. And no one told him not to go out or do stuff, so please I beg of him... Enough of the bull shit.
His temper is worse, it scares me. He doesn't communicate, so we get no where with "conversations" because hes to busy yelling, and putting me down. I'm sorry the 1 day he is home that the kitchen isn't sparkling clean. But seriously.... I am over it.
When your mom is actually scared for your marriage, you know its not a good one.
Honestly, I am scared. What if this doesn't work. What am I going to do, where am I going go and how am I going to do it. I moved across the country for this man I barely knew, and now as the days go by, his temper is worse, his communication is non-existent, and his responsibility for money is pathetic. Why should he control our finances when he had collections, and just shoved bills into drawers or had late payments before I got here..
So yes, maybe this did turn into a rant.. But i needed a friend and my blog seems to be the one I go to.
Girl.. I am right there with you. If you only knew. ;-) Hang in there. You ARE NOT alone.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, you are doing the right thing with the money. You are truly doing what is best for your financial future. I think the best thing is marriage counseling. At least you will have a neutral party to help facilitate communication between you too.
ReplyDeleteIt's good that he's agreed to see a counselor. Not many will. I hope that everything steady's out. You are doing the right thing with the money. Until he can prove to be trustworthy again.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you are having such a rough time right now with your marriage. I don't have any advice, but I hope with counseling you can get back to what brought you together in the first place.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I used to fight like that. We were too busy pointing fingers and yelling to really get anywhere and it only ever got worse. Counseling helped us and so did the love dare, I will swear by it any day!!! Please look into it, even if you aren't religious.
ReplyDeleteAs for the money, I handle all finances in our home. I pay all bills and control who spends when where because my husband isn't very money smart. At first it was hard for him to accept but as time goes on he knows it is for the best and he likes that it takes the stress off of him.
Good luck to you and remember that in a fight, it's better to talk about you and your feelings than to point fingers and blame, because he will only get more angry, I have been there and my mother has taught me many things on fighting with a "short fused" man, good luck hun and I am only an e-mail away if you need to talk.