March 3, 2011

Confrontation, Changes & Challenges

Sometimes I wonder what the heck was I thinking when events start coming up. In less that 4 weeks I will have both my parents, and both my in-laws in our house. That means there will be 6 adults, 4 dogs and 1 cat in our house, that well there's only one guest room.

My husband and I were discussing what to do about the lack of one room, do we get a blow up mattress for the extra room and clean out the closet or do we bite our tongues, give up our room and stay on a futon down stairs that doesn't exactly fit two tall humans, (it's our dogs couch)...

I'm not to sure what to do at this point, other then stress out. I already have my mom here and that's just going disastrous as usual. She's trying to tell me what to do regarding my business with Avon, and well finances as well and personally I don't think its anyone's business regarding our finances except my husbands and mine. Yes we have asked for advice and help in the past, but I failed to see the "fine writing" with asking for help and advice from families. Where does it say we have to tell everyone our financial status?

Other than that, we have been discussing the baby situation. And well, so far I started my prenatal vitamins, read the what to expect before expecting book and have started saving more for the future of our child. We have been saving for the past 6 months, and are going to be putting more in the account as well.

Were hoping that pregnancy will happen before our BIG move to Alaska in August, because he is going to a unit that's not deploying for another year, and what better than having your husband there for pregnancy and the first year of the baby's life if you can. Thankfully he's on board, now we just have to get everyone else on board and not against us with the "wait till Alaska" campaign. Personally, no I don't want to wait another 6 months to start the process, because then my husband would be missing the first year of his FIRST child's life when he doesn't have to because were listening to other people. If all goes well, pregnancy will be in our near future, (were hoping it'll happen within a few months)... But were prepared for it not to. We just don't want to not try.... And if the process does go as planned, daddy will not miss the first year of his first baby's first year of life.

Now, back to the reality of family coming. What do I do to try and entertain four adults without my husband? And how do I deal with the fact I don't find it fair for my husband to go away with his family and leave me with the animals and home. Personally I find that ridiculous. You don't just leave your wife at home, especially when I never see my husband thanks to his drill sergeant schedule. Yes, I'm frustrated, and beyond annoyed. And probably, I will get a post again saying how degrading I am to his family ect. ect. But at this point, trying to be nice is the past, and saying how I feel is now. I don't think I'm being rude, I think I'm being honest, and since my husband isn't the confrontational type (he say's he doesn't want to stress me out) someone needs to put the foot down and say NO.. That's where I come in.

How do you deal with family and in-laws? Whose the one that puts their foot down in your relationship? And who had a say when you started to discuss the expansion of your little family? Did you take the advice or did you decide you knew best?

Would love feedback for this post, as I am seriously in a bind.


  1. I feel like if you ask for advice about finances then people are free to give it, otherwise they need to back off. Also, its your choice and your life, no one knows better than you the right time to have a baby. My mom has often been skeptical of our decisions, but usually once I explain the rationale to her or she sees that it works out best she conceeds that we know best.

  2. Hmmm... well, in my opinion, no one should be giving you financial advice unless you ask for it and that doesn't mean if you ask about it once that they can chirp in whenever they want on whatever they want....
    In regards to the sleeping arrangements, I would not give up my bedroom. I would go with getting an air mattress... obviously both families know your living situation and the amount of room you have so they should be understanding. If they are not understanding I would tell them they are free to sleep at the nearest hotel, at their expense of course.
    How do you entertain them? Well, we all find things to do together... charades, movies, board games, sight seeing... the ladies can bake together...
    As far as your husband going with his family and leaving you behind, I would be mad too. When my inlaws come, we ALWAYS do things together... we're a family and act as such... but we also have 3 kids.
    Regarding the baby situation... we NEVER asked anyone about it and neither should you. If they pipe in, kindly tell them "We appreciate your concern, but we got this covered." Only you and your husband know when you are ready to begin a family and what you can handle. Personally, I wouldn't want to wait until going to Alaska either. Your reasoning sounds good to me.
    One other thing... from reading this, it sounds a bit like your family (his & yours) are in your marriage too much when it comes to personal decisions. They need to step back... it is YOUR marriage, not theirs. You may have to tell them so.
    Good luck hon!
    ~Jamie - *Army Wives Do It With Hooah* creator

  3. first off none of their business when you decide to expand your family

    second none of their business about finances

    third go to walmart buy an air mattress and put that up each night. no sense in not getting sleep. I would give your room to parents that is just me

    good luck

  4. Wow you have a lot on your plate. As for starting a family, I cannot help you with that, because I don't have any children, and I don't think we'll have any for about another 5 years! We are young & enjoying life. But I wish you the best on starting your little family ♥ That's seriously so exciting!
    As for dealing with family & in-laws... that's a tricky one! I'm sure you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but if you feel the need to put your foot down. DO IT. If your hubby won't, you have to! I don't think it's fair for someone to give you financial advice when you haven't asked for it! That truly is your own personal business!
    If I were you I wouldn't stress out so much on the sleeping arrangements & space because they KNOW that you don't have a huge house with a lot of room! They shouldn't expect your bed or anything, UNLESS you are willing to give it up. & That's totally up to you!
    I hope everything goes well & I helped you a little


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