October 21, 2011

Breakdown #1

It finally happened I had a breakdown. 
It took 21 weeks of pregnancy, deployment orders & a huge fight with my parents to break me down.
I was fine until today, strong & prepared. 
Since the day we confirmed the pregnancy I had everything decided. We knew my husband wouldn't be around for the birth and I chose to not have my parents here in Alaska during the birth.
Why you ask?
Well, my mom is overly sensitive. You have to tip toe around her so you don't hurt her feelings if you don't then she gets butt hurt & all hell breaks lose. 
My parents and I have a love-hate relationship, we constantly fight. I made it a point that I won't be dealing with unnecessary drama, fighting & BS during deployment. 
Anyways, since day 1 they were aware I didn't want them here for the birth (not to mention they have NO clue about the military & deployment.. & they watch the news 24/7 and think thats whats going on).. I don't need that stress.

Today was nonstop drama, got in a HUGE fight with my mom about Facebook. (I hate that parents have Facebook and are all mushy gooshy BS type on it).. Then when I called my dad to talk to him about it and tell him I can't sit here and tip toe around mom anymore and this was one of the reasons I didn't want her here (yes I was angry and wasn't to polite) he freaked acting like it was new information about them not being here. 
He informed me how horrible of a person I was that I was preventing them from seeing their grandchild and all that BS. I told him that if he doesn't respect that then he won't be welcome regardless, I am not a child. I am about to be a mother. I don't need him telling me how awful of a person I am for making decisions that are BEST for me. Best for me during deployment & labor. 
I told him that if he didn't want to respect me he wouldn't be welcome for Thanksgiving. Which by the way after getting Deployment Orders wouldn't work out to well.
& What happened.. He sent me a lovely text. Basically saying how horrible I am, how I don't know how to make decisions & how I am delusional or whatever word he used.. 
That is when I broke down...
After my breakdown, my husband came home with deployment orders... Wonderful add the cherry onto the entire day.. The orders are earlier then we were told. It was just one thing I didn't want to deal with today.

All in all, after 21 weeks of pregnancy, deployment orders & a huge fight with my parents... I think it was necessary. 

1 comment:

  1. oh cassie =( im sorry to hear but sometimes it is necessary to have a breakdown just remember to relax and breath the baby can feel everything your almost through it and then your bundle of joy will be here. it happens we dread the Dword i hope you have a better start to the week tomorrow thank you for the award!!!!! <3 that was sweet of u


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