December 3, 2011

Getting through it

It's the start of deployment and it is probably the hardest situation I have ever had to deal with. Not having my husband around really showed me how much I depended on him. My biggest issue right now is hard shoveling snow is, I never appreciated the fact he would get up shovel snow and go to work. But after doing it once, and sweating to death in 15* weather I realized how much he does for our family and never complains. I sent him an e-mail immediately after my 30 minute work out of shoveling snow, thanking him and telling him how much I appreciated the little things he did. 
The hardest part of this deployment so far is that its just me. No kids (yet) but just me and the animals. The house is so empty, and quiet (other then my dogs barking). There is no one to talk to, which gets so lonely. I can't wait till Landon gets here. We have 13 weeks left until he gets here (assuming he is on time). I am hoping once he gets here that this deployment will go by quicker. The days just drag by right now and its so hard. Nights seem to be the worse, especially since I wake up in the middle of the night ever 2 hours. The dogs have been sleeping on the bed with us up to deployment, and they are still on the bed but I just bought new beds for them so they can sleep on the floor again. Also so I can buy some nice sheets for our bed and not have them ruined by the dogs. 
I haven't had a full on conversation with my husband since he left, it's been so to the point every time we have spoken on Facebook. The last time he called he was in Germany. I talk to him on occasion on Facebook but its so short and hard to get in a real conversation. But I'll take what  I can get. I think the part that hurts the most is I see my friends status' on Facebook saying they talked on the phone with their husband's for an hour or something. Their husbands are in the same unit as mine so why hasn't mine called? These are the things that run through my head all the time. I am grateful for what I can get but hearing his voice would mean the world to me. 

I'm off to clean some more, since that's what I've been doing to stay busy. What type of things do you do to keep busy during deployment? 


  1. I can completely identify with your post! My husband has deployed five times, and I have been through two of them with him. This is exactly how I have felt at the beginning of a deployment. You don't really know how much he does and contributes to the household until he is gone. For me, the first few weeks and the last few weeks of deployment are always the hardest.

    Keeping busy is always a challenge for me during deployment. I always keep the house extra clean and try to make little projects for myself (organize the cabinets, clean out the garage, etc.). I also try to plan one exciting thing every month, so I have something to look forward to (like a girls night out, spa day, etc.).

    Thank you for following my blog, and I'm following you too! Always know you have a great network of military wife support out there!

  2. I wish you luck on your husband's deployment! I don't know what that feels like yet, but I'm sure it's tough to get through. I followed your blog from the Monday Military Blog Hop and if you want to follow me back, I blot at:

    I hope things start getting easier and the days go by faster for you! (:

  3. I remember how I felt when other ship wives heard from their husbands and I had NOTHING. It took me a while. . .like a LONG while. . .but eventually I realized my husband is a hard worker, he doesn't take a break to call me for an hour because he wants to get all of his work taken care of, once his crap is together THEN he will talk for an hour or even more. .. but he can't break knowing there is work to be done.

    Maybe your husband has a similar mindset.

    I'm so bummed to read how lonely you are! Seperation is always hard no matter the circumstance!

    Blessings to you!

  4. I feel very drawn to you blog for some reason.. I'm not really a fan of blogs. I found comfort in reading your blog knowing I'm not the only one enduring this extreme discomfort. At least the rain helped to melt some of the snow and we haven't had to shovel anything in the past week...


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