Two nights ago I got what I have been waiting for, another call from my hero. Talked for a few minutes but he was exhausted from more traveling that we hung up kind of early. As I plugged my month old iPhone in I realized it wasn't charging. There I was with 20% battery left at 10pm and I did what any military wife waiting for a call would do. I FREAKED out.. Thinking OMG what am I going to do, he said he's going to call later tonight and I won't even have battery. I forwarded my phone to the house phone and carefully put the dying iPhone down thinking I would save it's life. That night I didn't get my 2nd call, but my phone made it through the night.
Yesterday morning there I was getting up early with my then 10% charged iPhone rushing at 7am trying to get ready not even thinking that AT&T wouldn't be open at 7am for to save my dying iPhone. I ran some errands including sending Thomas 2 more care packages. Then went to AT&T about to just pay for whatever super charger they had to charge my iPhone. The guy looked at my like I was nuts for not bringing in the broken charger, and I told him I didn't even care and that money wasn't an issue. I just HAD to have my phone charged for the next call. I think this guy felt bad for me since he just gave me one for free.
Fast forward to lunch, went to lunch with a good friend. We went to an Italian Greek restaurant. Ate, conversed and left. Well..... Here's one of the lovely times that Murphy's law felt the need to make itself clear. I started my car started driving out of the parking lot and BAM my 2010 Jetta stopped driving. The engine shut off MID driving, but the heater and radio still worked. I texted my friend letting her know something was up, she didn't have jumper cables. So I did what any clear minded person would do... I called my dad, 2800 miles away thinking he could save me. Yep, that just did not go as planned. So frantic not sure what to do I just shut my car off praying it will turn back on. And BAM it turned on and acted as nothing was wrong. Well, still freaked out I drove to VW sat there for over an hour just to wait and see if they could even look at the car. Screaming at the guy who said I would have to leave it, and that the lady I just hung up with said it wouldn't be a problem he "kindly" looked at my car after an hour and determined nothing was wrong... Um I know I'm not a mechanic or anything but your car is NOT supposed to just stop driving, but hey what do I know. So with my perfect car that shuts off and doesn't have any problems I drove home.
Fast forward again to night time. As I'm cooking dinner I realized I haven't felt the baby move all day. So there I am again freaking out. Of course I don't know what do expect and I don't have my husband around to tell me I was losing it. I tried ALL of the "move your baby" tricks, orange juice, ice, tabasco sauce, laying on your side and of course jamming your fists into your stomach. None of it was making the baby move. After an hour of flipping out I called Labor and Delivery and they told me to come in. There I was alone and scared when it hit me. Holy Crap, my husband isn't here for this.. He isn't here to hold my hand and tell me everything was going to be okay. I couldn't call him at work to tell him to meet me at the hospital. It hit me for the first time that I'm on my own. Went to labor and delivery and heard what had to be the most reassuring noise ever. The baby's heart rate.. We don't know why he wasn't moving much, but his heart rate ended up being a little low. 30 minutes later his heart rate went back up and I was released.
As I drove home still hurting that my husband was not here for all of this, and didn't even know that I was at the hospital scared to death for our baby and worried he would hear it from someone else it hit me. Yesterday was a day of tests and challenges. It wasn't easy but I did it. I dealt with everything that possibly could go wrong in a day and got through it. I still haven't heard from my husband but I wrote him an e-mail telling him what happened and that EVERYTHING was okay. I didn't want to worry him but he needed to know before someone else told him and it wasn't the correct information.
As much as I felt I needed my husband yesterday, I was so proud of myself for getting through the day, not giving up and not breaking down. It was an extremely emotional day but I made it. I will be okay this deployment and I will make my husband proud. We were given this life because we could make it through it.. And that is exactly what I did.. I made it through what seemed to be the longest and most challenging day since he's been gone. Because in the end.......
I WILL BE OKAY..
First of all, sending u big hugs! Second of all my heart breaks for u. I had tears in my eyes when reading ur post. The best part is that u did make it thru the day and u woke up to a brand new day. :) God will guide u thru ;)
ReplyDeleteYou are doing so well with the deployment - with all the stuff going on! You're definitely my deployment hero :) I'm so relieved to hear everything was okay with the baby, I was freaking out for you when reading this blog posting.... tons of hugs to you, girl! :)
ReplyDeleteWow, great article, I really appreciate your thought process and having it explained properly, thank you!
ReplyDeletePrincess Party Planner
Wow, great article, I really appreciate your thought process and having it explained properly, thank you!
ReplyDeletePrincess Party Planner