January 11, 2012

What can go wrong will go wrong

It's been a rough week and I wish I could say it's been getting better, but it hasn't. 
The drama that is going on is beyond words to describe. 
This post isn't a vent, or verbal abuse. It is about the reality of the situation's that has happened this past week.
Originally I wasn't going to write about this, but the more I hold it in the more it eats me up inside, and stresses me out. 

Monday when I got mail I got a letter from Wells Fargo, stating they needed documents to finalize a loan. What loan you ask? Well I wasn't to sure either. I was stupid enough to think someone was trying to open a new home loan under my husband's name. But little did I know, my husband, mother-in-law & father-in-law went behind my back and refinanced our house. How did I find out? The loan specialist said she only has a POA for my MIL. Apparently my husband got his mom a POA the day before he deployed behind my back to handle this new loan. They actually thought I wasn't going to find out! What the hell is wrong with them? So as I'm thinking that fraud was being taken place, when in reality I'm just being lied to and betrayed (AGAIN). 
So here I am on Monday, trying to take care of this loan that I thought was fraud getting to the JAG office to get advice and help and then falling on my stomach. I knew I had to go to labor and delivery, but I was so worried that someone was opening a loan in my husbands name I took care of that first. Landon was moving so I wasn't so worried about him, but a loan of 163,000 I was beyond concerned about. 
The JAG office was a waste of time, the guy was useless. I went to labor and delivery and when they checked me out I was 1cm, 50% effaced and contracting every 4 minutes. Since I was dilated, (more so then my last visit) they kept me over night. They were worried about preterm labor, so they watched me closely. I was released Tuesday at 1pm with directions to take it easy, thankfully I am not on bed rest. 
During my stay at labor and delivery, my neighbor who I never met came to my rescue. She came and picked up my keys from the hospital, let my dogs out and fed them and brought me clothes and my phone charger in case my husband called. 
The husband did call, I did my best NOT to yell at him for two reasons. 1) I was in the hospital and didn't want to raise my voice 2) I don't think the stress would of been very good for baby, especially in that kind of situation. I discussed the loan situation with him, he said he didn't tell me because he thought I would say no. Apparently going behind your wife's back is better then asking her upfront about it. I said no to a previous refinance because the company was a scam. I don't think his reasoning is okay and it's just another excuse. I have a big feeling that this entire situation was because his mother had to chime in again as usual and get involved in our life. 
Since him and his family felt the need to lie to me, there are big changes going on that I discussed with my husband. I don't know how else to handle it, but this isn't the first time he has lied to me. I don't know what to do, but I did tell him he has to get counseling overseas regarding his lying. His parent's will be taken out of the will, not welcome to our house and WON'T be allowed to be around me or his son. I won't have my son around people like this, they are horrible influences. As for my husband, I don't know if I should stay with him and continue being lied to and betrayed. That's something to deal with when he get's home from deployment. He knows I am very upset, and that I won't be forgiving him anytime soon. For the past 2 years our fights have had to do with him lying to me, or his mother treating me or my family badly. I honestly feel his mother is trying to cause the problems in this marriage. But either she will be out of our lives, or I will be out of his (which I'm sure will please her). I plan on doing extensive research regarding divorce, and how to ensure I have full custody of Landon if it does get to that point. 
I'm hoping he gets the help he needs, and he tells his family to back off. As far as the loan, I already discussed with him what needs to be done. I won't be posting it on here, because incase his mom does read this she is not to know.

Do I stay in this marriage for Landon even though I've been lied to constantly? 

As of now I am at home and still doing well. We are expecting another storm tonight about 19 inches of snow. Alaska sucks and I can't wait to get out of here. 
I'm hoping that things will calm down in the drama department and I can enjoy the rest of my pregnancy. I am 33 weeks now, almost there. But pregnancy is supposed to be a happy time, and I can honestly say this has been one of the hardest phases of my life. The amount of drama and fighting that has gone on during the pregnancy scares me about the safety of the baby. 

Hopefully things will calm down. 


  1. I am so sorry to hear about all of the drama you've been experiencing. I'm with you on the hating Alaska band wagon. The lack of sunshine is making everyone not very sane, and that is in a very litteral sense. I am glad to hear that Landon is doing well despite all the hectic things you've had to deal with recently. I was worried that something was wrong since you hadn't made any posts in almost two weeks. I'm glad to hear that you and Landon are healthy. You are constantly in my prayers.

  2. Glad to hear that everything is ok with you and baby Landon! It really does suck when in-laws get into things they have no business in. Especially when you are pregnant. That is really the last thing that you need, added stress. I had a little of that during my pregnancy as well. I can't really give you advice on your marriage, except that counseling saved ours. Sometimes it is necessary. I hope things get better.

  3. I am so glad to hear your baby is okay! That would have been my greatest fear! I also think it's awesome that Holly was able to come help you! After seeing so many bad sides of women here-it is great to see that there are still some WONDERFUL and helpful wives out there! The problems with your husband are so hard to be going through right now, especially during deployment AND whilst being pregnant! hopefully getting all of this out and not bottling it up will help you start to feel better and help you calm down about everything.


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