We get home and my husband and I start discussing my blog & his mom comes up. Apparently, she thinks I'm "ruining the family"/ "her family". Some how, me discussing my feelings and thoughts is degrading to her "precious christian lifestyle".
I don't think she understands this. This is MY blog, I am not making anyone read it. I will continue to blog about my feelings, and thoughts and will continue to put my husbands input in it. For whatever reasoning, whether it be the "Hawaiian shirt" comments or the "I will never be good enough" blog, I will continue to blog about what is on my mind.
So here we are 10:20 at night, I'm back in my husbands arms. I'm discussing the facts of never being good enough for them, or the reality of no visitation of his family allowed at our houses because of the tension between us. I don't believe fake people should be involved in our life, and yes I believe his family has been fake and disrespectful to me.
I love my husband & my husband and I will do what is necessary to live a stress free ( regarding family) life. I will continue to support my husband whether he is a Drill Sergeant, or just a soldier in the military here or deployed. I don't need the "fake" support, when I have the real support of my army family & my parents and my immediate family.
This is how it is now, and this is how it will go. I am not writing to "ruin relationships". I am simply writing because I have gone through hell and back and have has hit rock bottom. I am doing what I love, writing. I am expressing my opinion so others know they are not alone when they hit rock bottom as well.
I can do this & will & if you don't like what I write. Don't read it, or have the guts to comment back .
(PS. This blog was husband read & approved)
Hey Cassie, we haven't met yet but I'm part of your husband extended family (I married into like you did). My name is Heather and I'm married to Thomas's cousin, Craig. I just wanted to let you know that you shouldn't ever feel like you have to justify yourself to any but yourself. What you think and feel is just a valid as what everyone else thinks and feels. I remember my husband being questioned before we were married about whether I was "independent" enough and probably there was some question about me being good enough for him. But we've been happily married for 10 year now and I pretty sure that everyone likes me now. So give it a bit more time and if nothing changes move on. It's not easy to adapt to being married and it's even harder when you have to adapt to the military too.
ReplyDeleteOh and congratulations on getting married. Sorry we weren't able to get down to California for your wedding.
ReplyDeleteCassie, I completely agree with Heather.. you don't and shouldn't have to feel like you have to justify yourself about what you write about in your blog. There's a big red X on the top right corner that anyone can click on if they don't like what you're writing.
ReplyDeleteWriting is therapeutic, and it's great that you can use a blog to get your thoughts and feelings out instead of keeping them in. Just remain true to yourself, and you'll be good!