November 22, 2010
Monday.. Its going to be a crazy week
Well my house is officially full of animals. Since we are now watching my friends pets, its a full animal house. We have 1 cat, 2 dogs, @ 5 chinchillas. Thankfully they are in cages and calm. So we have nothing planned for Thanksgiving. My biological mom sent us money to go out, or should I suck it up & make it turkey dinner for two? If I did make dinner for two, I would make a small turkey, mashed potatoes, and stuffing. And of course my husband and I would share a bottle of wine. So today I am going to get my neck brace, which will be on for a month along with my restricted movement (which I perceive as bed rest). I also have to start and finish my 10 page business communication paper that is due in 3 days. And well on top of that paper I have about 6 others due within the week. SO being on bed rest gives me the time to get these papers done, but I can't find the energy or motivation to get them done. My husband is home which is nice, he had duty last night so I didn't have him home for 24 hours, which sucked because of the amount of pain I was in. I know I should be used to him not being home, but I feel like there is something ALWAYS wrong with me health wise. I can't even begin to explain the amount of ER visits I have had, or surgeries. I need to find the strength to be independent. I have been independent my entire life, and for some reason now that I know I have someone to fall on I can't find my independence anymore. I was working full time as well as going to school full time, but I quit my job because I hated the corporate office (and there horrible business ethics) but after being hospitalized for serve depression I have not been allowed to work so that's on hold & basically do nothing other than be on a bunch of medications (that don't work), and well I lost my independence. I don't bring anything to the table anymore, which kills me. I don't bring any money, energy, or love to the marriage. I will find the strength to be an army wife, I will find my independence and I will get through it.
Posted by Cassie at 8:12 AM