December 11, 2010

Eventful Weekend & Upcoming New Year

This has been a long week, and I'm ready for tomorrow. Tomorrow I will be getting baptized at Church, in the presence of friends, army family and church family. I have the support of my biological family, and my in-laws, but I am still unsure of my adoptive family. But this is my decision, and I am so excited to take this step in the right direction of my new life.
Yesterday, while Christmas shopping I bought myself a bible (pink of course).
I am ready to be my own person, and make my own decisions not depend on others. I feel like my adoptive parents are hurt, but they won't communicate with me about it, so I don't care. Is that selfish or heartless of me? I want to be a good daughter, but more than anything in this world I want to be my own individual.
I am turning 25 in 3 months, and I have also made the decision to meet my biological mom. We spoke today and she bought my ticket to fly out in January for 2 weeks. Again, my adoptive parent's seem unemotional and upset but they don't speak to me as usual. (Growing up it's been all about the television, fighting, and eating out or ordering in). I can honestly say I have never had a home cooked meal from my adoptive mother. But that's besides the point. I will finally be going to find the person who brought me into this world, a piece of me that has been missing my entire life. Is it me for being excited, or rude? Don't I have the right to want this, and to make this decision when I was comfortable. Most of the time I don't feel my adoptive family understands where I come from, or even tries to understand. When I do try to describe my feelings or thoughts, they say that I am being over dramatic or thinking about it in my own head.

The Breakdown

The Good

The good of this week: Being baptized tomorrow
The good of the new start of the year: Meeting my biological mom and family
The good of my life: Marrying a great man, and having his support
The good of my current location: Meeting amazing friends that have become family, and support everything I have done

The Bad

The bad feeling of my adoptive parent's making me feel hurt
The bad of not knowing if I should be happy or not
The bad of being confused in my own body, and feeling regretful of my health.


  1. First of all - congratulations on your baptism. That is a very big deal, and I am truly happy for you.

    Also - how amazing to be able to meet your biological mother. That's also another really big deal.

    As for your adoptive parents, sure.. it sounds like things are a little strained, but take the high road - love them, forgive them and now that you are reaching a more "mature" chapter of your life - take the high road and show patience. :-)

    Don't ya just love advice when not asked? hahaha

  2. You are about to embark on a very wonderful chapter of your life, starting tomorrow with your baptism! God will wrap his loving arms around you and guide you on the rest of your adventure.

    I am the Biological mother and met my daughter in September. If you like, you can visit my blog and read the older posts r/t the anticipation and the final meeting. I started blogging in June or July, to sort my feelings on meeting my Daughter. As the time grew closer, I was able to share my feelings through the blog with both her and my other children.
    You could also read her blog and her perspective.
    I will be praying for you tonight, and tomorrow, for a spiritual Baptism that moves you even closer to your Lord!

  3. Yours is too!... and btw Utterly Chaotic did my blog! .. I dont have that much talent!

  4. Hey girl this is completely off topic, but you don't have your reply-to email set up or an email listed in your profile so this is the only way I can contact you! (for awesome instructions on how to set those 2 things up, see this post

    About the recipe, it was so simple, I cannot think of any tips for you. It sounds so fancy, like it would be complicated, or something easy to mess up, but I really think it is a fool-proof recipe! It was perfect for lunch, but I think it is definitely filling enough for dinner as well!

    Let me know how it turns out!


  5. Hi! Thanks for stopping by my blog & following me! Its nice to "meet" another military wife. I am now following you as well.

  6. Congrats on being baptized!

    It's not selfish to want to be your own person!


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