Yesterday, while Christmas shopping I bought myself a bible (pink of course).
I am ready to be my own person, and make my own decisions not depend on others. I feel like my adoptive parents are hurt, but they won't communicate with me about it, so I don't care. Is that selfish or heartless of me? I want to be a good daughter, but more than anything in this world I want to be my own individual.
I am turning 25 in 3 months, and I have also made the decision to meet my biological mom. We spoke today and she bought my ticket to fly out in January for 2 weeks. Again, my adoptive parent's seem unemotional and upset but they don't speak to me as usual. (Growing up it's been all about the television, fighting, and eating out or ordering in). I can honestly say I have never had a home cooked meal from my adoptive mother. But that's besides the point. I will finally be going to find the person who brought me into this world, a piece of me that has been missing my entire life. Is it me for being excited, or rude? Don't I have the right to want this, and to make this decision when I was comfortable. Most of the time I don't feel my adoptive family understands where I come from, or even tries to understand. When I do try to describe my feelings or thoughts, they say that I am being over dramatic or thinking about it in my own head.
The Breakdown
The Good
The good of this week: Being baptized tomorrowThe good of the new start of the year: Meeting my biological mom and family
The good of my life: Marrying a great man, and having his support
The good of my current location: Meeting amazing friends that have become family, and support everything I have done
The Bad
The bad feeling of my adoptive parent's making me feel hurt
The bad of not knowing if I should be happy or not
The bad of being confused in my own body, and feeling regretful of my health.
First of all - congratulations on your baptism. That is a very big deal, and I am truly happy for you.
ReplyDeleteAlso - how amazing to be able to meet your biological mother. That's also another really big deal.
As for your adoptive parents, sure.. it sounds like things are a little strained, but take the high road - love them, forgive them and now that you are reaching a more "mature" chapter of your life - take the high road and show patience. :-)
Don't ya just love advice when not asked? hahaha
You are about to embark on a very wonderful chapter of your life, starting tomorrow with your baptism! God will wrap his loving arms around you and guide you on the rest of your adventure.
ReplyDeleteI am the Biological mother and met my daughter in September. If you like, you can visit my blog and read the older posts r/t the anticipation and the final meeting. I started blogging in June or July, to sort my feelings on meeting my Daughter. As the time grew closer, I was able to share my feelings through the blog with both her and my other children.
You could also read her blog and her perspective.
I will be praying for you tonight, and tomorrow, for a spiritual Baptism that moves you even closer to your Lord!
Shawn
Yours is too!... and btw Utterly Chaotic did my blog! .. I dont have that much talent!
ReplyDeleteHey girl this is completely off topic, but you don't have your reply-to email set up or an email listed in your profile so this is the only way I can contact you! (for awesome instructions on how to set those 2 things up, see this post http://meandmysoldierman.blogspot.com/2010/10/on-commenting-and-replying.html)
ReplyDeleteAbout the recipe, it was so simple, I cannot think of any tips for you. It sounds so fancy, like it would be complicated, or something easy to mess up, but I really think it is a fool-proof recipe! It was perfect for lunch, but I think it is definitely filling enough for dinner as well!
Let me know how it turns out!
~Jes
Hi! Thanks for stopping by my blog & following me! Its nice to "meet" another military wife. I am now following you as well.
ReplyDeletewww.thethriftymilitarywife.com
Congrats on being baptized!
ReplyDeleteIt's not selfish to want to be your own person!