February 6, 2011

Church x 2 and moving on

I know I'm lagging on the blogging, but it's been a crazy past month. I actually missed 2 appointments, therapy and a pre-op for sinus surgery because I've been so out of it. With the 17, yes 17 medications I have been taking my mind is seriously in a world of it's own. Last night, I spoke with my husband about the medications, and just how they are making me so out of it. I know he doesn't understand how I feel, or what type of disgusting funk these pills are putting me in, but he's been there, and that's what means the most to me.
Also last night, I saw the Church his mom suggested to us a year ago, and asked my husband to drag his sick butt out with my sick butt (were both sick with bad colds)to that church to see what they're about.

Church # 1: Cascade Hills Baptist Church Saturday Night Service
The main focus for their new focus for February was "Connecting with God". They discussed the best time to pray, (morning), and what prayer does ( connects you with God, brings you answers, and gives your spiritual strength). They discussed the power of fasting and prayer, and the burden that will be lifted after the process.

Church # 2: MyChurch (the one we usually go to)Sunday Service
At our church, their focus was concluding "From Here to There", and Week 5 was "Physical Life". They asked us to think about what we want to do, then to do it. (STOP THINKING AND DO IT!).
1. Corinthians 6: 19-20 - Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
1. Think of how to honor God with your body.

2. Develop a Battle Plan/ Action Plan. (Think of steps to achieve your goals)

3. Get into Relationships. (Somebody who will support or help you).

Moving On
Now with all the church stuff being said, lets discuss moving on.
A while back I posted a blog, from what I remember in NY when I met my biological family. I was describing my biological family, and used the word "adoptive" parents to explain and make it clear. Using the word adoptive, was not to be taken in negative from just for complete understanding.

Some might question and still dwell on the word "adoptive" but I need it to be said that it was not meant to be negative in any way. Now, I shouldn't have to defend myself on my blog, but I don't want the person thinking about the word negatively to hurt. Why because it's my mom.. I hate that she thinks I meant it negatively or took it negatively, when I was just putting it into writing perspective.

Here's my input, and last word on the subject of biological family and adoptive family, they are just words.
My biological family is now a part of my life, I am thankful for my biological mom for not aborting me, and giving me a good life by putting me in the right peoples hands. And I am even more thankful and grateful for my parents, yes my parents, the people that have raised me and been there for good bad and ugly. Through all my medical problems, emotional breakdowns, and temper tantrums. I am thankful for both families, and find that I am appreciative for the lives they both provided. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my biological mother, and I wouldn't be the person I am today if it wasn't for my parent's that raised me into a woman, a wife, sister and daughter.

I hope that everyone including my parents, family, friends, and blogging buddies understand that I did not mean to hurt anyone, and that I am sorry for hurting my parent's feelings. I am crushed that this has still gone on, and hasn't been crushed. So here I am, speaking out and now moving on. I can't dwell on the past, after conversations consisting of screaming, tears and hateful words.

I will be the adult I am, and I am publicly apologizing to my parents. But at this point, I will continue to blog and I will continue to try to keep the context into descriptive terms without hurting people's feelings. I don't want people hurt by what I am saying.

Thanks everyone for reading my blog, I would appreciate some input, comments or advice..



  1. You have also become a woman of God's family and you are growing into something beautiful in his eyes. All that you share each day can and will touch someones life.

  2. I'm sorry girlie. I can understand what they were feeling. I guess I should go back and read the post. did you clarify it by acknowledge the fact that you look at your adoptive parents as your real parents? I would think you were just using a clarifier because you were having to refer to both sets of parents. but I guess I'm thinking that it is just a sensitive issue. and I'm betting that deep inside it was difficult for your mom to think about you having a relationship with your biological parents. I have a friend that was in a similar situation. It was hard for her mom emotionally, but she just had to explain that this was something that she had to do for closure or "moving on". don't be too hard on yourself. Your heart had good intentions and nothing was done to harm anyone or with evil intent. You just have to give it to God and let it go. which is so hard for a woman.

    speaking of moving on...lol...lets move on from that emotional topic, lol!

    I'm so glad that you got the hubby out of bed to church and that you were able to have that heart to heart with him! Yay!! I've been praying for you ever since we met :) yay! I hope things start getting better! Make sure to go to that next appt.



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