Treats for Troops

Started off the night with 2 bags of mixed chocolate candies. 30 minutes into trick or treaters knocking on our door we were almost out. I had to dive into my SWEET stash and start giving out my beloved sweedish fish packs. I sent hubby out to get more candy and what do you know.. NO one came after that.

So what to do with all the extra candy!!!

Treats for Troops!

http://www.treatsfortroops.info/

Send your extra candy overseas for the troops currently serving. 

I hope everyone had a safe Halloween! 

SNOW!!

Its 7 am on Sunday morning, I asked my husband to open the window in our bedroom. Next thing I hear "Its snowing". How is it snowing? It's October!

But it is!

First snow fall of the season just in time for Halloween!

It's so pretty out, but cold. So due to the snow we were impatiently waiting for we're planning on getting house stuff done today and maybe work on Landon's room!

Block Leave is Official

Well its bittersweet but Block Leave has officially started yesterday! 

Yesterday we celebrated my husbands 28th Birthday where else but Benihana's & ended at our friends house for some drinking. I'm so proud of my husband for not over drinking, passing out or throwing up! 

My husband is NOT one to smile so I am proud of his goofy smile in this picture

The next two weeks should be busy but productive. Yesterday, even on the hubby's birthday he FINALLY winterized the backyard. Thankfully since we've been getting some slushy want to be snow its good timing. 

Block Leave we have planned to explore Alaska. We're hoping to go to National Parks, Geocaching, The Anchorage Roller Derby (tonight hopefully), and to get Landon's (the baby has an OFFICIAL name & hubby picked it out) Room all done and finished!

We're also getting pre-deployment photos done, for free by an INCREDIBLE photographer! How you ask, well if your husband is deploying sign up for OpLove Here.. OpLove is free photography for deploying, deployed or returning military members. You get 2 free sessions any of your choice. We chose to do pre-deployment (not the day of), and homecoming photos. We might change to R&R though so we can get the hubby meeting his son for the first time. Haven't decided yet. But if your spouse is deploying or deployed sign up for this great opportunity!

As for deployment...Its won't even be on my mind till it approaches. But we did figure out that my good friend will drive us both to the Motor Pool on D-Day, take pictures and be there for me then drive me home. 

But until then.. I'm spending the next 2 weeks with my husband and enjoying Alaska in 23* weather! So excited to explore!

Here's the photo from today, we went to the Earthquake Park. In 1964 Anchorage Alaska has a huge earthquake on Black Friday. This park was basically all natural and hasn't had any reconstruction done. It was cool, more like a trail to walk though. Great views of the mountains and scenery.

Its Okay Thursday

It's Okay.....

- To not know how to feel about the upcoming deployment 

-To cut people out of your life who bring you down, even if it is family

-To be happy the Army has you move every 3 years

-To be pissed that we have to buy my husband a 2nd pair of new boots for this deployment

- To drink Starbucks every day even if it's decaf and does nothing 

-To shop daily for baby stuff 

-To make a list for everything

Smile to your face

So today is behind me, I've decided to move on and not let the negative people bring me down.. Now or ever..

Anyways, Halloween is around the corner. I'm not a fan of the spooky scary stuff, or the haunted houses that people come jumping out at you. 

But what I do LOVE is the candy.. & Mrs. Preggo over here had to get some... So in Halloween spirit this is my all time favorite Halloween commercial!

Psycho's

Well it seems like Psycho's are finding their way back to my blog.

Debating on going private again so nut-cases don't get involved in my life. 

What blog hosting site allows you to block people, or is only able to be read by blog users?

I like blogger but it seems like anyone can read it & at this point there are people in my life I don't want involved. 

OH & PS.. .To who ever rudely said I was violating OPSEC in my previous deleted post I'm NOT.. WHY DO YOU ASK, BECAUSE THE INFORMATION PROVIDED WAS ALREADY ANNOUNCED ON THE NEWS & IN THE PAPERS REGARDING THE DEPLOYMENT.

so before attacking someone about OPSEC read up on it yourself... There were no specifics and the information was what has already been provided to the public.. 

For Military Wives...

By all means, I did not write this nor will I take credit for this. I actually have no idea who wrote this. But my Army wife friends all had this posted on Facebook and it just brought me to tears. With deployment coming up fast and pregnancy the emotions are everywhere. So if you are a military spouse I hope you relate and appreciate if, if not I hope you understand the pain and heartbreak we go through for our spouses to defend our country.

A Military Man's Promise

I cannot promise you every night of my life. I cannot promise to be beside you for every difficult moment, every trial, and every hardship. In truth, I can promise you that I will not be with you for most. I will leave you at inconvenient times. Any special date to us may be tainted with the anniversary of the death of one of my friends. I will ask you to take over whatever life we have built together for months and years at a time. And will then crash back into that life that you have used your sweat, your tears and your heartache to keep together, and try to take it back as I knew it before. I will shut you out at times because it will be the best way for me to hold it together at that moment. I will lie to you. I will tell you I don't know things when I do. I will not always tell you where I am going, when I will be back, or who I am with. I may not call you for weeks and months and you will not be able to call me. You will ask questions that I won't answer. You will know answers to questions that you will hope you never need. I will share things with my brothers that you will never understand. They will know things about me that you never will. They will be a support to me in some things that you cannot be. I will miss birthdays. I will miss anniversaries. I may need time to process things that seem natural to everyone else. It will seem that someone - or something - will always take precedence over you. You may lose me long before you ever thought possible. I will uproot you and ask you to re-establish our family anywhere in the world, in any season, at any time - over and over again. Sand and mud will be tracked through your halls from the boots I am too tired to take off. I will leave you when you beg me not to. I will stand at attention while you cry beside me. I will not turn my head and I will walk away. I will knowingly break your heart. And I will do it again - and again. I cannot promise you all of me. I cannot promise you much of anything. But if you will have me, I can promise that as I march away from you, it is not without sharing your heartache. I promise you that every time I break your heart I will be breaking mine. Every time that I cannot answer you I will be protecting you. Whenever you want to call and you have no number to dial, I will be wanting to do the same. I will protect everything that we have created together with every fiber of my being while you do the same back at home. I will honor you in everything - every moment that we are apart and every moment that I am with you. I will fight harder and push further knowing that I do so for you. And I will carry you with me in everything, until my sandy boots once again sit just inside our door. 

A Military Wife's Promise

I cannot promise that I will not become frustrated when you leave me and the world seems to fall apart around me. I cannot promise that I will not curse those who sent you when the dryer breaks and the transmission needs to be replaced, and the dog eats the couch all in the same week - most likely the week after you deploy. I cannot promise that the sand and mud that cakes my floor will not cause me to give you harsh looks and rude thoughts. I cannot promise that my heart will not be torn in twelve different ways when you march away from me. I cannot promise that I will not let my anger show when you refuse to answer questions. I cannot promise to understand why you share things with your comrades that you will not share with me. I cannot promise that there won't be times when my heartache makes its presence known before my pride can mask it. I cannot promise that I will not show my worry and my concern when it is best for you not to see it. I cannot promise to understand why you do so many of the things you do. But I can promise that for as many tears of sadness and frustration and anger that are shed there will be double that of tears of pride. I can promise you that for every time you are away from me, I will learn to cherish the times that you are with me. In everything I will honor you and honor your sacrifice. I can promise to teach our children to do the same. I will use every moment that you are not with them to show them the amazing man that you are through my actions and my pride. I can promise that there will never be a night where you are not the subject of my final prayer and the keeper of my dreams. I promise to try to be understanding that there are many things I will never understand. I promise to keep you with me in everything and to do my best to keep grace in this life. I will be strong for you as you are strong for me and I will carry you with me in every moment until your sandy boots again sit just inside our door.

Breakdown #1

It finally happened I had a breakdown. 

It took 21 weeks of pregnancy, deployment orders & a huge fight with my parents to break me down.

I was fine until today, strong & prepared. 

Since the day we confirmed the pregnancy I had everything decided. We knew my husband wouldn't be around for the birth and I chose to not have my parents here in Alaska during the birth.

Why you ask?

Well, my mom is overly sensitive. You have to tip toe around her so you don't hurt her feelings if you don't then she gets butt hurt & all hell breaks lose. 

My parents and I have a love-hate relationship, we constantly fight. I made it a point that I won't be dealing with unnecessary drama, fighting & BS during deployment. 

Anyways, since day 1 they were aware I didn't want them here for the birth (not to mention they have NO clue about the military & deployment.. & they watch the news 24/7 and think thats whats going on).. I don't need that stress.

Today was nonstop drama, got in a HUGE fight with my mom about Facebook. (I hate that parents have Facebook and are all mushy gooshy BS type on it).. Then when I called my dad to talk to him about it and tell him I can't sit here and tip toe around mom anymore and this was one of the reasons I didn't want her here (yes I was angry and wasn't to polite) he freaked acting like it was new information about them not being here. 

He informed me how horrible of a person I was that I was preventing them from seeing their grandchild and all that BS. I told him that if he doesn't respect that then he won't be welcome regardless, I am not a child. I am about to be a mother. I don't need him telling me how awful of a person I am for making decisions that are BEST for me. Best for me during deployment & labor. 

I told him that if he didn't want to respect me he wouldn't be welcome for Thanksgiving. Which by the way after getting Deployment Orders wouldn't work out to well.

& What happened.. He sent me a lovely text. Basically saying how horrible I am, how I don't know how to make decisions & how I am delusional or whatever word he used.. 

That is when I broke down...

After my breakdown, my husband came home with deployment orders... Wonderful add the cherry onto the entire day.. The orders are earlier then we were told. It was just one thing I didn't want to deal with today.

All in all, after 21 weeks of pregnancy, deployment orders & a huge fight with my parents... I think it was necessary. 

My First Blog Award!

I am proud to announce after over a year and so of blogging, I got my FIRST award! 

The awesome Lay over at The Next Chapter  passed this award on to me. I recently started following her this past month as I was looking for blogs to keep me entertained during this upcoming deployment. 

This award is typically given to those who have under 200 followers to help bring in some traffic and recognition to their babies (aka blogs!). 

The Rules are as follows:

1. Copy and paste the award on your blog

2. Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you

3. Reveal your top 5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog

4. Hope that your followers will spread the love to other bloggers

My top 5 picks:

1.Combat Boots & Diamond Rings

2.City Lights & Camo Nights

3.a shot of laughter

4.Baby P makes 3

5.Not just an Army Wife

Its a.....

At 21 weeks we now have the news its a boy. Baby is measuring at 21 weeks & 5 days and is 1 oz away from a pound! 

This was the first appointment the hubby has been to and I am so glad he made it. 

This was such great news and after last nights deployment brief we needed it. To sum up last night, we know that deployment is coming sooner than we expected. Orders are cut, and waiting to be given out.

As of right now the deployment is for 12 months. They didn't make the cut for a 9 month deployment but it's possible for it to change. 

So until then I just have to put on my big girl panties, and stay strong. 

& To do that... This momma to be is going to go shopping! 

What were some of the things you got for when your child was born that you can't imagine life without? 

this isn't normal

I wish I could say October is going great here in Alaska and that I'm enjoying the few days left of no snow. Oh but I am not. 

As I'm on the phone with the Triage Nurse trying to make an appointment for my bronchitis follow up, I'm explaining that I was coughing up blood.

She wouldn't even make me an appointment, she immediately told me to go to the ER. I broke down once I hung up the phone, this was going to be my 4th time in the ER in my 20 weeks of pregnancy. I'm frantically trying to get ahold of my husband whose at the Range. No answer. Of course, why would my husband be available. After an "this is an emergency text message" I got a call. He wan't coming to the ER, he had to train. I was pissed, hurt and alone. He did eventually make it to the ER after I texted him how upset I was that he was being treated like a Private (which he's far from) and that his pregnant wife is in the ER coughing up blood and no one seemed to care. 

Once in the ER, they saw me immediately. It's never reassuring when they are rushing you back after triage. It was exactly one week ago that I was in the same ER with bronchitis.

This time, he checked to see if I had Phenomena with no x-ray. Thankfully no, but he didn't seem to be concerned with the coughing up blood. He nicely said its a sinus infection and theirs nothing you can do. It will last a few months. 

Wrong answer.. a few months of coughing up blood acting like it's normal, coughing to the point of trying to get air... All normal..

I didn't go to med school, but that is just not normal sounding to me.

In the 20 weeks of pregnancy I have had a UTI, kidney infection, bronchitis & now a sinus infection...

& on top of all that I am still having morning sickness..

This is my first pregnancy & I'm thinking that it just doesn't agree with me.

It's so hard to connect with my little baby when I'm so miserable, and sick. I feel awful. Everyone asks what I think it is, boy or girl. I can't even think about it, I have no clue and it hurts. People always say "we knew it was a girl" "we knew it was a boy"..  I can't even tell, all I'm hoping is that after all the medications I've been on that the baby is okay. 

Baby update

Since I didn't post the 20 week picture here it is!

If your wondering where my belly is, so am I!

So far in the 20 weeks of pregnancy I have gained 7 pounds. 

Baby's heart rate was 130-150 within a second

In 5 days we will find out if its a girl or boy I am just hoping that my husband will be able to make the appointment. 

1/2 way there

I made it! I am officially 1/ 2 way through my pregnancy! 

20 weeks today! 

I would post a picture, but... I'm NOT showing (boo)

&

I am still ridiculously sick with bronchitis (yuk!)

In 8 days we find out if its a boy or girl!

I'm am stoked! 

But Pissed because they only give you 2 pictures here of your 20 week ultrasound.. What the hell!

So I plan on making an appointment for a 3D ultrasound before hub's deploys.

Did you get a 3D ultrasound? Was it worth it? 

Deployment News:
I figured out two things I am going to do while hubby is deployed..
1) Learn to make homemade pasta
2) Do a challenge----52 weeks of organizing (you can find HERE if your interested in doing it)

Update

Well, its been about a week since the whole drama with the MIL & hubby. So far nothing has been settled and it's pretty much looking to stay that way.

We haven't got deployment dates yet, but the hub's bags are packed. Pre-deployment briefing number 2 is coming up so we know that deployment is arriving fast. 

The Holiday's are going to be lonely after Thanksgiving, but come February the baby will be here. 

My parent's are still coming for Thanksgiving, they agree that if the dates are for the time they are supposed to come that they will cancel the trip and come another time. His mom didn't want to compromise with changing dates to a week earlier so him and I could spend some time together. Personally, it was BS that she doesn't think T & I need time together before he leaves for deployment. 

Anyways,

After being sick with what I thought was just a bad cold for 3 days I had some convincing from some friends to go to the ER.. "If not for you go for the baby"... Is pretty much what got me.

Well thanks to my friends, the Dr. found that I had bronchitis. Now on antibiotics for the 3rd time in my pregnancy I'm battling bronchitis hoping it goes away. 

As for T, he jumps again tomorrow. This will be his 3rd jump here in Alaska, the one before this was a foreign jump. We haven't even started getting the pay for the jumps, so hoping for some nice backpay soon. 

The baby... 

Tomorrow I'll be 20 weeks, we find out in 9 days the sex of the baby.. It's 50/50 on what it is. T thinks it's a girl, I think it's a boy. As long as he/she is healthy (and doesn't have my health problems) I'll be happy. I am starting to feel kicks inside, nothing on the outside yet. Looking forward to showing more since I don't look pregnant yet. I'm hoping to get some maternity pictures before hubs deploys but if I'm not showing I'll probably try to hide the stomach and just do basic photos with him before he leaves for the year.

I'm hoping to start feeling better, I'm missing so much stuff outside in Alaska. Fall is slowly ending, and frost is taking over. This morning it was 26*, and the high was 37* so it's cooling down. Snow should be around shortly. Am I prepared?? NO! I have snow boots, but thats about it.

Cav Ball

Well, last night was the Cav Ball. I didn't really want to go but had to since hubby was on color guard. 

Here's the summary of last night

- I blacked out.. Why? We don't know, we know I wasn't drinking since I'm pregnant. But we were standing and talking to some of his friends and all the sudden everything got blurry then bam saw black...

-I found out that the dress that has never been worn & just bought had tears by the zipper and along the back

-The 1sg piggy backed the company commander to the grog ceremony 

-I got a yellow garter 

-The COL put Don Perignon in the grog 

- Hubby was on Color Guard 

Cav Ball, 10/7/11

I cut about 6 inches off my hair yesterday too... Not sure how I feel about it 

More Drama in "Paradise"

I find it funny that when you try to be the bigger person, you end up getting a coward on the other end. 

Last week I wrote an e-mail to my mother in law after an argument my husband and I had when my husband was on the phone with his mother. To sum it up, his mother INSISTED on staying throughout their time here even though we got deployment dates. The deployment dates would give my husband and I 1 day together before deployment if his mother decided to stay the entire time. 

The e-mail is in another blog post if you wish to read it. Since the e-mail was sent I asked my husband daily if his mom has responded anything to him. With a straight face, he said no. Well my husband left his phone at home today. Since we have the same phone I went to check my facebook (hoping to see if my friend had her baby). But what I found instead, was an Facebook message from his mom. 

"Your wife posts something nasty about me on Facebook. I think you you need to talk about the letter. She has friends talking about what a terrible person I am."

"It needs to stopped. That is verbal abuse about someone on Facebook". 

Well, my husband just nicely said "I know mom, I will talk to her after the shower.."

Here's what I think.. It's not verbal abuse when its an e-mail! I don't talk shit about her on Facebook. There are no names, and only quotes about bad people. Is it my fault she knows how horrible of a person she is, nope! 

& Did my husband say anything to me about it? NOPE.. So he lied, must of got it from his peachy awesome mother. 

His mom is so close to causing a divorce, and she would LOVE it. 

At this point I don't know what to do. Am I being disrespectful for telling her that boundaries need to be set? No. 

Do I post that I write in my blog every day no? Here's an interesting point.... She doesn't blog, so she's specifically going on my blog to "spy" on me. Why... To cause drama.. 

Funny how things work, and she thinks people are talking shit about her? Well maybe it's because they agree with me! 

Can't wait for my husband to come home to talk about this nonsense. But they won't be coming for Thanksgiving thats for damn sure. I will make sure to be calling the MP's if she comes near my house. That's a promise. 

Roller coaster kinda day

Today was probably one of those days most military wives dread other than deployment. For the most part I started the day off great, my awesome friend brought over Pumpkin Ice Cream. (Since I've been craving it for weeks now). But after that it was just a day I wish we didn't have to deal with.

First off, how is it that the Army does NOT know not to give your husband a LIVE flu vaccine when your wife is pregnant. Seriously, common sense but apparently the Army lacks that. They gave my husband the live flu vaccine, so now he's sick. Thanks Army, he now has a warm spot on the couch while I have a nice ol' bed to myself. 

Second, with deployment coming up with knew this was going to happen but its just making it more official. Today he took his Hero picture, the one that if g-d forbid anything happens to him they put in the newspaper. 

Also, he made out his will and the power of attorneys that if he were to be brain dead, to where he is hooked up to machines his wish is for me to pull the plug. That had to be the second hardest thing to read other than the will. How can you even think about having to pull the plug on your husband and listen to his demands. 

Another power of attorney he brought home was the one that I have to also be the one they call if he were to go into surgery for any type of injury. Do I want them to try to the surgeries, or amputate? Again why would anyone want to read this before deployment. 

So with these documents completed, the hero's photo taken and the rest of the power of attorney's slowly getting done (we are having issues with the Air Force's Civilian Lawyers being complete airheads) we are almost ready for deployment. 

Yesterday, he took his multi-cam uniform, ruck sack and assault pack to get the name tapes sewed on, and everything done for that. It was a mad house there, the place had multi-cam to the ceiling practically. 

So almost everything is prepared for deployment, except me. We have another pre-deployment brief in 2 weeks and there are NO children allowed due to the "topics" discussed. Which usually means it'll be all about the deployment, the "good" and the BAD. 

Hoping tomorrow will be a bit more cheerful and not so depressing with the documents that come home. But with deployment around the corner I won't be holding my breath.

It's official

Today was the official announcement of the brigades deployment. Over 3,500 soldiers will be deploying to Afghanistan at the end of November, is basically what the Department of Defense stated today. Thanks for ruining my day, we knew it was happening but now it just seems more "official". T has his deployment briefing today, got more POA's although the Air Force keeps messing them up. We have about 10 Special Power of Attorney's and 1 general with a date that "expires" while they are still deployed.. (Don't let your husband do stuff with out a sticky note with EVERY direction on it) It somehow didn't cross my hunny's mind that in January we will be in 2012. 

Other than the official news today, I ventured out off post for the first time alone since we got here... That would be 2 months since we've been here already. Somehow my hub's had the navigation (why I don't know), so I ventured to the scary area by post to go food shopping. After almost getting hit by another car going 30mph to take the space I was already turning in, and the SAME stupid Alaskan pushing me out of the way to get Banana's. I decided it's just not safe for a little ol' pregnant me to venture out off post with out my husband to protect me. As for when deployment arrives, I'll be going out with my girls! 

I'm trying to enjoy the next month but with deployment briefings, Multi Cam everywhere, and FRG e-mails out the WAZOO it's hard to not think of the fact he'll be gone. This isn't his first deployment, but it's mine. 

Trying to think of the BEST ways to get through this deployment and staying busy. 

Without getting a job since I'll have a newborn in Feb.. Any ideas? 

October... Already

So this is my late, OMG it's October post. This is the month I've been dreading, because at some point during the next month or so my husband will be leaving for deployment. Do we know when, No... We just know he's leaving. We don't even know if it's going to be a year deployment or 9 month deployment. We won't know until they are coming home. E-mails & phone calls went out in the last 24 hours with the official army announcement of "you are deploying in _____ time frame", tomorrow we MIGHT get dates, but who knows.. 

During this deployment, he's missing the usual- birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, etc. But he's missing one of the most important events--- his child's birth, his first one. They said he will get Emergency Leave after the baby is born, but in reality I'm not holding my breath. 

Anyways, OCTOBER

Alaska sucks for October here's a few reasons why

1) They don't have pumpkin patches around 

2) If you do buy pumpkins (at the store) you can't carve them and put them on your porch.. Why you ask, because the bears will be attracted to them and eat them.

3) It's already 43* outside, snow is coming within in next 2 weeks, meaning fall lasted all of 3 weeks. 

Why is Alaska awesome in october?? 

I'll let you know when I find the answer... 

Oh and on the 7th we have the ball to go to, so I had to find a dress that would "grow" with me incase I blew up, which I didn't.. to find out that someone in the same troop as my husband will be wearing the exact dress.. So I just borrowed a friends dress and wasted $120.

I'm also getting a hair cut on the 7th, Where do you ask... Well, where any other person in Alaska would get their hair cut, the same place as Sarah Palin.. (I still haven't seen Russia, maybe I just need better glasses)

Hoping this month goes by slow, and I get to cherish the time with my husband. We did get to finish the furniture in the baby's room. 

We find out Oct 20 if it's a girl or a boy!! 

We went out to the Alaska SeaLife Center today, and it wasn't exciting. Just a big let down, but on the way home we did hit snow.