Dancing With Myself

I was reading a blog from Army Wife Living and she blogs about her friend posting a video from when she was 13 that made her happy.

Well in my depressive stage of life, that I'm trying to get over. I realized there's a song that ALWAYS makes me smile, and no matter what I'll get up and dance on the bed like I was 13 and no one's watching.

SO I ASK YOU NOW:

What is your feel good song that makes you
turn into a jumping dancing 13 year old?

The 5 Love Languages: Review & Answers

So, its been 2 weeks since we've been seeing the marriage counselor, and she "prescribed" the book, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, by Gary Chapman.
Yes, we have only been married one year and a month, but with him being a Drill Sergeant its important we go to get the flow rolling and discuss our marriage as a military couple with no time for eachother.

The book describes 5 love languages each person uses to express their love for one another. The point of the book is to show each person reading the book to recognize their own and their partners love language. Of course being the book junky I am, I am finished with it. Its highlighted, marked and post-it'd. My husband, because of "his job" hasn't read it, although he said he read the first two chapters; "What Happens to Love After the Wedding & Keeping The Love Tank Full"

The main and most interesting chapters in the book include the 5 love languages, along with "your turn" questions at the end for you to answer.

Tonight I tried to discuss some of the things I learned in the book, and asked how I could be a better wife and what it was he liked about me, the marriage and what he would want to change. Since he was so tired it didn't go out to well. So instead, I reviewed my answers to the questions, and reviewed the summaries at the end of the chapter and came up with is.

The Five Love Languages

Words of Affirmation: (Verbal compliments)
Your Turn: Share instances with your spouse when words had a profound impact on your life-- positively or negatively. 

My Response: 
Positive- when he says I'm a good wife, verbally compliments the things I do, and compliments about my looks.
Negative- when he says I'm demanding, rude, disrespectful and lazy.

Quality Time: (Giving your spouse focused attention.. Ex. 15 minutes of talking with no TV, or other distractions)


Your Turn: What in your marriage detracts from spending quality time?

My Response:
His job, the computer for both of us (he's a facebook gamer, and I'm a blog-a-holic), he is usually to tired to spend time together and falls alseep on the floor or couch, and I'm on so many medications I'm usually to tired or in to much pain to do special things like take walks together to discuss our day.

Receiving Gifts:
Your Turn: Reflect on ways to give figts to one another even if finances are tight.


My response:
Since finances are tight in our household, I wrote him a letter in colorful markers about how amazing he was and posted it on the garage door in the middle of the night for him to wake up to when leaving for work. Other ideas we could do can include making cards, collages, leaving notes on the mirrors, or sticky notes on each others cars saying "have a good day, I love you".

Physical Touch: (Holding hands, embracing, and sexual intercourse- all ways to communicate emotional love for one another)

Your Turn: Recall some nonsexual "touching times" that enhanced intimacy between the two of you? What made these times special?

My response: When he grabs my hand out of nowhere to hold it, when he holds me tight during a hug, and when I'm overly stressed he'll run his fingers through my hair to calm me down; him doing these things are special to me because he knows I love to be recognized as his wife and a human no an object.



I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK TO EVERYONE! It was absolutely an eye opener about sharing your love for one another, and learning about the love language desired by your spouse. My love language is quality time and words of affirmation. After reading this book, I think I can be a better wife to my husband because I have the tools to try different love languages to see how he reacts to each.

We might of had a rough night tonight, but we have Church tomorrow and a new month starting soon. Things are going to be different, and I am going to "Grow a backbone" as my best friend said to do, and be positive as my blogging friend Adrienne said to do. She said as I was complaining to her about my lonliness and depression that "You have the choice to wake up in the morning and have a bad day, or wake up in the morning and say I am going to have an awesome day today, and smile."

So thank you to my best friend Dana, and blogging friend Adrienne and Gary Chapman for getting my ass out of a depressive funk and to move on, be happy, grow a back bone, and wake up every morning to say I am going to have an awesome day.

MilSpouse Friday Fill In

Thank you to Wife of a Sailor, we have some more awesome questions for this Friday, her link is

1. If you were a famous movie star, what types of movies would you star in?

Romantic comedies, hand's down.

2. What is a vacation that you would like to take if money were no object?

Australia! I wanted to take a cruise to Alaska, but now they we got our assignment there I'll be okay with out the cruise there, oh an Bora Bora!

3. Did you have pets growing up?

We had 2 dogs, and when I was growing up one of them was as big as me when I was a child.

4. What do you do for exercise?

I am trying to get back into a routine, but right now gym 3x elliptical 30 minutes, rowing 5000m, and lower and upper body weights 

5. What is the best piece of advice you've ever received as a Milspouse?

Stay strong, support your husband, and that you'll always be number 2 him because if the Military wasn't number 1, he wouldn't be safe. And to not be a hermit and hide in your house, get out and make friends and be dependent.  Learn how to do the basic handy work because when your husband is gone, something will break

Determination, Giving & Tea?

As I wake up to dogs howling I turn to go try and make my husband get them. Then I remember as the empty part of the unmade bed was sitting there person-less. The hubby had CQ, and I haven't exactly had talked to him in 24 hours. I rally up the monster dogs at 6 am and let them do their business (husbands job to clean that up), and fed them.

As I am boiling the water for my tea, I look around and think "Gosh this place is messy", and when I say messy, I mean smudges on the fridge, and pictures that haven't been hung. So what do I do, get my cleaning supplies out, and the hammer and get to work. All before my tea may I add.

I cleaned the kitchen, and turn to the dining room to remember that my laptop took a turn for the worse, I freak. Then there I am 6 am, in my oh so not warm PJ's, rally up the dogs, tea, dead lap top, and a whole bunch or random nonsense and off to the office I went. I googled ton's of sites regarding my laptop, but they are are "non name brand" so no Toshiba products for purchase. Which makes me feel slightly uncomfortable. Discouraged and sad, but then I go to my blog look at my list of things to do before 30. And start reading through it, so what did I do. I took the steps and registered for the Big Brother Big Sister Program, and also looked up for when there were breast cancer walks around Georgia, thats 2 things off my list!

If you read my blog often, you'll notice I usually put a positive quote on each blog, and right about it. This time, since I didn't get to my daily positive quote book, I'm righting it at the end. Surprisingly, today's quote is EXACTLY what I have been writing about, giving and volunteering.

"In charity there is no excess"- Sir Francis Bacon

Best Day in a LONG TIME

Well, I did it made it through yesterday and today so far with out the husband to help with the three dogs, 1 cat and well a partially disabled in pain wife. But I DID IT! Yes, it was crazy and chaotic, as I was going on 48 hours of no sleep yesterday, I was barely able to read, write and let alone talk. I sounds like an overly wasted person trying to get into the wrong car. As I woke up this morning with my husband at 3:30 am, I was up and ready to read. That is until he left to work and my head hit the pillow once again.

I saw my therapist today, and she also thinks I still sound like an overly drugged woman, BUT she does think I should start getting off the medications so my husband and I can have BABIES!! Which I'm DYING FOR, and WANT SUPER BAD! But my husband wants to wait until Alaska, but the last thing I want to do is be pregnant in Alaska, where I seriously won't know anyone and I'll be so far away from everyone. I hate his plan, there I said it. It sucks, I want babies, and I want them so I can be pregnant with my friends around me comforting me.

So, I made the decision when I see my other Dr. that she needs to take me off all the medication bad for babies, and keep me on stuff that is safe for pregnancy. (Which in my eyes is NOTHING).. But the husband still wants to wait, so that's just another conversation that I have to put my foot down!

Today was a good day, I was happy the way the therapist went and glad that she's on the same page. But even better, my momma said I should have babies too! That's two people! :) and well three including me!. Now yes, my marriage is still not PERFECT, but it's been so much better than ever now that we see a counselor together and were learning each others way of communication.

Also after Skyping with my blogger friend Adrienne this morning, I got up went to the gym kicked some butt there, and then had the courage to call some companies with job openings... And the result... I got two interviews this week! Along with the disability office getting my fax, and starting my claim.. Doctors are starting to get the paperwork to fill out, and all they need to do is release my medical records.

So All I have to say now is:

We got orders!

Well, the debating and waiting is over. I just got the call from my husband... We got orders to Fort Richardson Alaska. We had our top four, with Alaska being last. But my husband is so excited and so is our family, I am still trying to "warm" up to the idea of Alaska. As a California girl at heart moving to Alabama to Alaska is a culture shock.

We still have some time so it is possible for it to change, but it sounds like they are desperate for my husbands MOS over there.

As for everything else, I'm on the hunt for a job here for the remaining 8 months in Alabama, and hoping that I am approved for disability still. Yesterday I got a letter saying I was denied, but then they said it was a mistake due to their move. I was flipping out that's for sure.

This week I'll be working on my physical therapy, reading my 2 books, handling the house alone because my husband isn't going to be here due to work, and looking for a job. And with all that, doctor appointments, army paperwork, bloodwork and cleaning.


If any one can give me tips on PCSing, and what not now's the TIME! And with this move we have to get a new car for the snow and to fit our animals in lol..
I'm already stressed out, thats not a good sign!

101 Bloggers & a day of chaos

Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start having positive results.       -Willie Nelson

Well first off, I just have to thank all my awesome followers! (military and non military). When I first started this blog I felt like no one cared what another army wife had to say, complain about, or be emotional about. But this blog has turned into some what of my "diary". I have poured my life onto this blog, asking for advice from others, and  the positive feedback to keep me going. I have gone through my HUGE share of depressing and negative posts, I have taken the feedback and advice to move on, be happy and BE POSITIVE!

When starting my blog I did it for myself, most of my posts we about my health problems... If you just started following.. I have a ton of problems: These include: Osteoarthritis in my knees, degenerative disc disease ( a back/ neck problem), a bulging disc (in my neck), and well a straight neck vs a normal curving one.. Basically a screwed up spine = bad severe back pain and constant spasms. I also have had a heart procedure that burns extra nerves. Did I mention I have severe depression and was hospitalized under psychiatric care for a week because of that, because of trying to overdose and drink 4 bottles of wine... (oops)? That's when things were at an ALL time low with my husband and separation was the major discussion topics. But, I have met some of the most AMAZING woman from being hospitalized who all were hitting rock bottom like me. They have supported me through everything. They, just like my followers have been there for me for advice, and feedback. So as horrible as my inpatient experience was, it was a positive change afterward.

So with all the back problems, my entire athletic life was taken away from me fast. I just found out about the spinal problems, but I'm 24 and I don't take " Be on bed rest" easily. So for the last two days I went to the gym. Friday I did the elliptical and some lower body weights. (knees hurt so bad after that). Today I did 5000meters of rowing. Now emotionally I have felt amazing again after the gym, but physically.... I think I'm pushing my self to much.

Another chaotic negative problem today.. I got a letter saying I was denied disability. After having an anxiety attack and taking a nap.. I called the disability office, and they said that was only for social security and to disregard it. Thank goodness, but she said that my fax won't be looked at for another week because they are moving offices. SO to add on to the 120 days of waiting, which means I might not be able to get a job because of it until a decision is made. I'm loosing my mind waiting already.

But in the waiting time, I have my awesome blogger friends (skype me! Cobrien6777), and tons of books to read, and I'm going to attempt creativeness and try crocheting, and scrap-booking. Did I mention my OCD cleaning as well.

Starting tomorrow my husband will be working for 9 weeks straight, training new civilians into soldiers. Now he isn't deployed, but he is gone from 4am-11pm and well that means dinner alone, handling everything for the house, and well fixing everything that breaks. But that also includes the sickness brought home from the privates, meaning I'll most probably be enjoying 4 more upper respiratory infections (Gross)!.

So finally, Thank you again for keeping me positive, energetic and for being such a great "FRG". I am so glad to have 101 followers!!

Monday Blog Hops!

Church & Love Languages

Part 1: Church

Sunday’s have changed my life for the good: Thankfully my husband, therapist, and best friend have encouraged me to go. Without church I would be sitting home miserable, depressed and alone.

This month’s theme at Church was "Here to there”. Today was also the 2 year anniversary so they were focusing on the accomplishments over that two years.

Here is a verse that was provided for the day at Church:

Mathew 16:18 “And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.

-          Breaking this verse down: Matthew is the only Gospel that uses the word “Church”.

-          The Greek word for Church is “a group of people called together".

Another part of my life right now is Reading "The 5 Love Languages". (if you have any type of marital communication problems I highly suggest it!

2: The 4 Love Languages (book)- by Gary Chapman (highly recommended)

Our Marriage counselor suggested reading this book. It’s a great book helping how to learn what type of communication/ action your spouse needs to understand.We have communication problems, especially since he's a drill Sergeant we never get time together.

“Your Turn” ( End of Chapter Questions) w/ My Answers

1.      (Words Of Affirmation Chapter)

          Share instances with your spouse when words had a profound impact on your life—positivity or negatively

                     Positive: When he verbally says I’m a good wife, compliments the way I do things or saying I look pretty

                    Negative: When he says I’m demanding because I want the house to stay clean and organized.

2.      (Quality Time Chapter)

           What in your marriage detracts from spending time together ?

                                                              His job * He's a Drill Sergeant* usually gone from 4 am - 10 pm

                                                              The computer * He plays facebook games when he does have time and I blog *

                                                              He is usually to tired to do anything and crashes on the couch *he's always sleeping *


(If this post doesn't make sense it's because I haven't slept in 24 hours because of insomnia (if you find errors let me know.)

Also how do you communicate with your husband when hes never around? What books do you suggest on marriage, military, communication ect?

Help?!

As I sit here in my bed reflecting about my day, I can't get the tears to stop. My eyes are bloodshot, my face swollen, and I'm in the classic broken down girl mode... Sweatpants, and a sweatshirt. As I took a shower earlier to try to calm down, I found myself on the floor in the shower crying, praying for everything to change. I never was the one begging  for change, or praying for a better relationship with my parents,a better marriage and a healthier life. I broke down, prayed for a better life and cried to God wondering why I was given a life with such struggles. As I find myself blogging about depressing things, I read blogs that are uplifting about amazing events going on in everyone's life. I want to be the uplifting positive blogger with all the amazing miracles happening. Children, anniversaries, date nights, ect.

I hate being the depressing blogger, upset about life, health and relationships. It's hard to find the positive, when your life continues to crash down.

Yesterday, I went to the pain doctor who gives me the epidurals. Since they aren't working we have to add another set of shots called a "trigger shot". It goes directly into the muscle with the pain, but these are between the epidurals, and physical therapy 3x week.

I think my husband is having a difficult time with my health problems, he isn't used to all the doctor appointments, procedures, and well.. No work. Which means more stress in the house about finances. I am not physically able to work, and that hasn't been exactly uh.. understood? With my husband being a drill sergeant, getting time with him is near impossible. And it's emotionally heartbreaking knowing your husband is so close but so far.

I decided no matter the pain I am in, I have to get a job. I am hoping by doing this the stress levels in our house will decrease.

What type of things help your relationship with your husband? How do you keep the "romance" going and the fighting minimum? What was your first year of marriage like? Any advice?

I want to be a good wife, without these health problems. I want to work two jobs so I can pay down debt, and release some of the tension. But it's impossible when I can barely stand up, have physical therapy 3x a week, and doctors appointment's about 4x a week. How can I put in towards the marriage when I can barely make it through a day.

Frienships

"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed; never throw out anyone." -Audrey Hepburn

As I am now (officially) not a new army wife [one year last month] I am learning to understand the complications that arise with friendships. I have lived in one state my whole life until the age of 23 and have kept the same friends since I can remember. Below are the most important people in my life, I hope this post will allow you to realize and remember the friends from back home that you might of lost contact with.

My 2 best friends from pre-school (I'm in the middle)

The same girls @ my wedding (yes I cried)

Then there is my incredible girl who gave me the best Christmas gift ever, and has gone through some of the biggest life experiences with me:

Night we first met in 2005

Got our first apartment 2006

Celebrated 21st Birthday's In 2007

Dealt with our best friends death in 2008

Had a falling out in 2009-2010

But she was there for my wedding.. Which sadly I don't have a picture of! Lame!!

Point is: 

No matter where I go, I know that I have these amazing friends there for me. No matter how many falling outs we had, or how many mean immature things were thrown back to each other.. True friends are exactly that. True friends.. They won't go anywhere, they always have your back (even when in a sticky situation), and they will be there for the biggest moments of your life. I am so grateful for the amazing woman I have watched grow, but now I am thankful and open to the new friendships that arise. In 8 months, I will be saying goodbye to my best friend from Georgia.

Dana and I : 2/47 Panther Ball December 2010

And yes, her and I have had falling outs. But in the end, she is like a sister to me and family. I am so thankful for the amazing friendships I have. I know that no matter where life takes us, I will have these girls and will make new ones as well.

What have you gone through with friendships and the military? How do you stay close to your friends? Do you feel your friends "outside the military" understand what your going through?

Live Love and Move On.

Inspired by a true blogger, I got to get my ass up be happy and start moving forward. No more depression, and no more BS.  You can find Adrienne's blog(the inspiration) @ Right Here-Right Now. She was kind enough to get me out of my funk, comment on my blogs and become my first army wife friend from the blogging world. (Thanks Adrienne).
To continue:

I guess this would be my semi-wordless Wednesday?

 

So starting today, I will live my life for myself and will use my support system (even if most of them are army wives from blogs)...

I will stay strong, and remain calm.. I will forget the past and FUCK IT, and MOVE ON to LIVE my LIFE

So I hope, as I conclude this short, randomly influenced post (by the awesome Adrienne click to see blog).
That others will continue to encourage me, support me, and use the blogosphere as a support system of our own.


(photos from weheartit.com)

The final night

So, today I spent the final day with the biological family and took pictures. We also went bowling and to lunch. Iv been here for 10 days, and am missing my husband so much I am ready to be in my house with my husband and animals. Once I get back to Alabama I have a million doctor appointments, and tons of disability paperwork because the last guy messed it up. I'm hoping to get back to work (once I find one) but can only make a certain amount of money if I get the disability, which I should be getting because of the Degenerative Disc Disease for life. With all the medical problems, medications and doctors I see there is no reason I shouldn't get it.


Military News:So we got the news that we wont be PCSing to Colorado anymore, and it's now looking like Ft. Richardson Alaska. Which makes my husband happy because that's one of his top places. As for me, I have dealt with going from California to Alabama and now Alaska?!
Being an Army wife has made me put myself second and my husband first, so what makes him happy and where he wants to go I'll be there. I know that I will always put him first, and I will never be first in his life. That is the whole life of being an army wife. You put your spouse first, and you will always be second because the Army is first and for your husband to be safe, that's how it needs to be.

Side note of my depression:
I know it will always be the Military's decision, or my husbands decision. I just go along for the ride and have to stay strong while doing it.

Journeys that changed my life

 As I tried to think about something to blog about, I decided to look at quotes, since I'm a quote fanatic. I found one quote, that couldn't be more close to heart, and true to my life then this one. 

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. -Lao Tzu

In the last year and somewhat months, I have made two huge steps that have changed my life and have let me live the adventure that led me here today. With a single step, and thousand of miles in between I have met my husband and biological mother. Last year, I took what I thought was the largest step on the plane to meet my now current and forever husband. After talking for months online, we finally decided to take it to the next step to meet. After four days in Alabama, I never went home and we got married on Dec. 8 2009. 

In 2006 my Biological mother found me off of IMDB, the Internet Movie Data Base and contacted me regarding her putting me up for adoption. It took me 5 years to take that step and get on the plane. On January 5, I took the step on the plane that changed my life again. I met the woman who gave birth to me along with my sister and two brothers. 

This quote has completely touched my heart and made me realize how different my life would be if I didn't have the courage to take these steps. I love my husband, and meeting my biological family has given me the background of my life regarding health, family and the story of my past. I go back home to my husband on Sunday and I can't wait to see him after two weeks. 

I don't know who reads this blog, but I hope those that do have the courage to take the steps that open the opportunity to expand your life experiences.

Snowboarding.. then ER

Snowboarding location

Little Man Ryan ready to snowboard

Rebecca and Ryan preparing for the snow

Rebecca, and I (and partial Ryan's head)

Family : Ryan, Rebecca and I

Rebecca

Ryan

Me: Ready to snowboard

And a flip over she went after this

And After falling on my back, ended up at the Hospital I was born at.. 

It was interesting to be admitted back to the hospital I was born at with my biological mom.
I'm back at the house, with heating pads, pain pills and just pain... No regrets though!..

A day at the spa

It's been 4 days since Iv been in NY with my biological family. Today it was girls day at the spa, I had a massage, facial and manicure/ pedicure. It was a much needed massage, although now I'm just in pain which isn't good. I had spent countless days fighting with my doctors and pharmacy's trying to get more pain pills, but have been so unsuccessful. I have to wait till the 21st for my pain doctor appointment to get pills, which pisses me off because they prescribed weak pain pills anyways so I had to take two of them each time. Anyways, this is a short post because we have the movie "Up" on in the background, one brother is making himself dinner and its disgusting: cucumbers, hot dogs, mac and cheese, ramen noodles, and apple sauce, my younger brother is on the floor, everyone else is just lazy as today was a long day for the girls, and the boys did random stuff in the snow. Tomorrow I'm going to take my chances at snowboarding so hopefully I will be to walk out of it with no injuries. As much fun as I am having here, I am missing me husband like crazy, and animals, and can't wait to be in bed with my husband for warmth. It's not snowing anymore, but there is a huge amount of snow everywhere. I'll let you know my adventures tomorrow, and take pictures with my awesome freeze proof camera. Night ya'll

Day 2: The adoption story

Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once.
Lillian Dickson

So today is my 3nd  day here in New York, and yesterday Margaret and I saw the Broadway show Fiddler on the Roof. We also went to meet her in-laws, not sure what they are to me, but here are some photo's of the day. Supposedly, were expecting 8-14 inches of snow within the next 48 hours.

Anyways, going along with the quote above by Lillian Dickson: This quote is bitter sweet to me in my eyes, and with the adoption process and now the completion of the process.. the meeting. My biological mother had an option to keep me, or do what was best for me and give me up for adoption. She did what was best, putting me first, and she made the tough decision to choose parents to raise me. Originally there was another family that was supposed to get me but they backed out. It must of been fate, I was raised by amazing parents that my friends and husband love. They have spoiled me rotten, watched me grow up, my mom dressed me up, my dad had his little girl wrapped around his finger. It was and still is the life, I was never thinking it would be different, or that the past or stories would be complete by meeting the woman who made the hardest decision to give up her daughter before I was even born.

I had the option to meet Margaret, my biological mother when I was 18, but I wasn't ready. She was looking everywhere for me, then found me off IMDB, since I was a makeup artist. We talked on the phone and e-mailed often and my mom asked if I wanted to go to NY to meet my biological mother. Finally I was ready, and came out here. I got in two days ago and the 2nd night we stayed up till about 130 am going through all of the adoption papers and photos. Of course I was crying, I was emotional, in pain and was taken for a roller coaster of from start to now. No one could ever be prepared for the emotions that come across seeing the writing of your biological mom, or seeing your parent's profile with pictures and information about who they were, and what they liked. They are so much the same today, and have grown into such great parents. So below are some of the photos of the documents my biological mother saved. She also has pictures of me when I was a baby on her walls, it makes me feel so welcome that her three other kids and husband knew about me from day one.

The "Resume" My parent's had to put in to get me :)

My first Birth Certificate before the adoption was complete

The hospital I was born at :) March 24 I was supposed to be an April Baby

&

The Meeting at the Airport:

This blog is a two day blog that had to be reread numerous times, the photo of the hospital was taken last night on the way home. I am so thankful that the adoption worked out for everyone. My parents (Adrienne & Marty) have raised me amazing, and have supported my crazy, irrational, pathetic, and sometimes smart decisions. Margaret somehow lucked out, with getting rid of the problem child (health problems, tattoos, piercings, and ditching school). I am one expensive woman, and child and I am so thankful that my parent's have taken care of me the way they said they would, did and still do.My Parent's have supported me through everything, and I don't think they will ever understand how much this trip has opened doors to more relationships, self growth, and a better understanding of "my roots".

Margaret's family is so sweet, loving and welcoming, its like down home country love. She took me shopping yesterday to get antiques and country decorations so I can start decorating our home. We got a lot of red, white and blue, patriotic decorations. I found out that I do have a creative side in me, and can't wait to start working on some projects when I get home. I'll hopefully post later today, about our day at home scrap booking, baking and spending time watching movies.

Biolgoical Family Day 2:

It's the morning after I flew in to meet my biological family, and everything is wonderful. Margaret got my husband and I such beautiful decorations for our home for the holidays, and patriotic colors to make our home cozy. Yesterday blogspot.com wasn't working here in NY, but It's up and running so I'll try to get back up to date on my blogs, and my 365 project. Yesterday was an anxious day, and my oldest brother video taped the whole thing, but hes a procrastinator so who knows when I'm getting a copy of that moment. I was presented with flowers, hugs and full acceptance. After wards we went home and had pizza then off the a volleyball game.

The other brother stuffing his face with 5 slices of pizza

A 2nd Christmas: In NY; The three woman ruling the house now: Margaret, Rebecca and I when I opened Christmas Gifts

The flowers they bought for me

My littlest Brother Ryan (super trooper)

My sister and I